My friend Rajush was approaching the prime age for marriage, and his parents were diligently searching for a suitable bride. I met him a week ago, and since then, I've been meaning to write this blog. This piece is not about a person, a family, or a tradition, but rather the society we live in. As I spoke with Rajush, I couldn't help but ponder the plight of a girl child in India. This plight is not limited to the girl child but extends to the entire society. Even in the context of marriage, a wonderful institution, some of the practices and traditions we've adopted or perpetuated over the ages are not just questionable but downright absurd.
Rajush was entering into an arranged marriage, and as simple as it sounds, it is indeed ARRANGED from the very beginning. Everything in this arrangement is taken into account. Every arrangement involves its own set of negotiations, and Rajush, being rather naive in these matters, felt disheartened by his experiences thus far. The most striking example was when the father of a prospective bride admitted that they weren't particularly well-off and wouldn't be able to provide much for their daughter, implying they couldn't afford a lavish wedding. I asked Rajush what was so surprising about that, and he responded, "The girl is an MBBS, MD, and a practicing doctor. Isn't the wealth of education that her father ensured for her enough? I can't help but wonder what real wealth is, and how much gold, silver, or money could compare to what he's given his daughter. Add to that the 'sanskar' (moral values) instilled in her, and you have the wealthiest person in the world. So why this talk of not being able to give much to their daughter?"
Rajush's response left me speechless.
I understand why the girl's father said what he said—it's a reflection of our current society. However, I'm still searching for answers as to why there is such a differential attitude towards girls. Why can't a girl, like a boy, support her family after marriage? Marriage is a mutual relationship with mutual bonds, so why aren't the responsibilities shared, both before and after?
"In today's world where religion marries religion and wealth marries wealth... Where can I find a match, as I am a human whose religion is mankind and love is the only wealth I possess?"
2 comments:
I appreciate this post being a girl. I've heard this several times. When I got married. When my sis did. And other girls in family. But I don't blame girls' parents for being differentiative. They do what society expect. I'm glad our generation thinks better. But there's a long way to go before the "equality" is achieved.
I like your thoughts.
Would you write more often please.
^_^
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