Here I am sitting today humiliated by an award, a recognition of my work.. But this time I didn't deserve it, this time I never worked to my potential.
Like every person, I too had my dreams big and small, to make it sometime. I still remember how I longed that before leaving this company I'll carry that Ace award in my hand, and I worked hard for it, struggled for it but it escaped me, I said may be some other time, some other place. But today when I got it, it came to me in a way I least expected and deserved. It came to me just as AN OBLIGATION, A FAVOR.....
Let me make it very clear that a men must be judged for what he is, with the same respect for truth, with the same incorruptible vision and treated accordingly. I am proud of my own value. I do not support my life by robbery or by alms, but my own effort, so I DO NOT SEEK TO DERIVE MY HAPPINESS FROM THE FAVORS OF OTHERS, BUT EARN IT BY MY OWN ACHIEVEMENT. My truth is only my motive. My truth and my own work to achieve it in my own way. I am not serving anything or anyone. I am living for myself. And only by living for myself I am able to achieve things. My work is my glory. I am no parasite who needs others to feed upon.
You say that even after deploying good resources, even after agreeing to all their demands, the work is not getting done, the project is still in a mess. You don't have any answer.. I have one but to which you refuse to listen. Do not cry that it is my duty to serve you, I do not recognize such duty. You don't own me. You went on telling me that your code was noble, but the resources are not good enough to practice it. But I rose to ask the question: Good?-by what standard? Here man can survive without gaining knowledge, without working hard but by goodwill with his bosses. I refuse to work on these terms, I refuse to be humiliated. If you cannot recognize the worth of my work, I refuse to work.
P.S.- It is not because that I have resigned so I am writing this today. I resigned much before I had any job offer in my hand and I got an offer much later. I was worried, I was a little scared but believe me if you trust yourself and your ability to work, you won't ever go starving.
P.P.S.- By saying what I said I do not mean to say that I do not love the place where I work, I love my first company. This is the place where I have nurtured from being an amateur to a professional. I won't forget my first lessons, I won't forget the guidance of the able men with whom I have worked and I'll live by my values, and whatever I have done and will do.. is due to a simple reason that I still love.... How to express.. it is simply like I love my country, my adobe, my motherland but still there are things which I want to change in my country, there is a system which I see as wrong and I wish to correct.
