The One in Life

Agar khud par hosla rakhon to main sekdo se bhi lad jaunga,

Aur agar na rakhon to khud hi ladkhada kar gir jaunga.

life is all about finding that one thing
you really care about.
That one special thing
that means more to you than
anything else in the world.
......And when you find it,
you fight for it.
You risk all
You put it
in front of everything...
your future, your life...
all of it.

Even if I try and put in my best to explain by what I mean by this I might not do justice to it. It's very introspective, just introspect.

Read Life

I was about to finish reading 'A Thousand Splendid Suns' by Khaled Hosseini today but with just 30-40 odd pages remaining I gave up. My heart was so burdened that I could not take it anymore, it almost felt like my heart crying and a thousand tears flooding it. This is one reason why I like reading... I like reading for understanding life. As life has uncountable experiences and even in a million lifetime I will not be able to experience all. Through books I can feel, I can feel the pain, the tears, the joy, the defeat, the victory. I am very selective about what I read and I get connected to books and the characters while I read them. I often find book sharing my emotions and touching me in a way that I almost find myself as a character in the book, living, breathing...
In this book that I read, I found such a desperate struggle for life and such endurance of a human being that I could not surmise it in words. You have to read it and feel it for yourself. And read you must for this is something real and no fiction but just the characters have changed. And while I am just writing it down I can not help and feel what Mariam and Laila will endure next and what will be there final destination. Signing off for now probably I'll be able to gather courage and complete reading this book soon.

The Road Mishap

I read with sorrow but no great surprise about the death of a colleague in a road mishap. His was, just a face to me in the crowd, till the day he departed. The death of a person in his early 30's ,the only breadwinner in the family, was enough to tip his family off. He had many unfinished businesses, many things to work on.. but alas, he is no more. He is survived by his wife, a two year old daughter and a mother. It will take them long to come to terms with the paralyzing loss. Is there any compensation to their loss, a wife lost her husband, a daughter lost her father, a mother lost her only son.. Ohhh God.. you make the stones cry. Hey Almighty I pray to you, I don't know what to ask or expect, you know that better but please give the family the courage and support to sustain in this world of yours.

The loss of my colleague plagued me by a myriad of feelings triggered by the fact that it was accidental (and therefore preventable), that in part it was the result of somebody’s negligence (at the time the county was trying to develop new infrastructure, better roads, flyovers -for better traffic control, he was run over by some vehicle), and that it seemed to me that it was contrary to all natural laws – parents are supposed to die before children, not the other way around.

His sudden death left me feeling shaken, unsure and vulnerable. Life is so unjust and intolerable at times.

The same question rings my mind again and again, what if tomorrow is the day when I die?? Since death is not in my hand but my life is, let me make more out of life before life takes me to the end

A continued battle... Life

The day I stepped out of my house, the corridor of comforts ended; I knew life is going to be tough. Life places obstacles at every move that you make and it is very well said that "Obstacles in life are not to be boggled at but to be surmounted."
Every person in his/her life faces struggles, you can't say I don't wanna fight anymore until you are alive. The good thing is that you don't have to go through this battle alone. In your childhood, you have your parents; in youth your friends and then you get the option to choose your soulmate(wooh that word in itself says a lot). I look at my dad and feel how incomplete he would have been had he not found mom, how he would have faced the world without her at his side. I look at my nana-nani and feel what a support they had been to each other, the courage that they had facing all the hardships of life and now they are past their golden age by over a decade but still they have not given up. My nana-nani still work round the clock without complains and say sitting idle rusts their body and mind. I took my life's lessons from them.
I want to be someone and for that I had to begin the battle of life early but I missed on it. I had some negative outcomes. God gave me another chance, he gave me a new beginning and now I cannot give up. I have to move on and fight and have faith, I'll have to lit the fire that will brighten the dark nights. Things are still uncertain, I have no hand to hold but I'll overcome the pain in my heart until I have this vision to move on.
Life is a continued battle for me and I'll fight with all my strength and enjoy the little moments of triumph that come by my side but I won't give up and I won't even die....