The Wish & The Battle Inside

Time and again life taught me various lessons. Some lessons I accepted with grace and some I just could not digest. I saw good things happening to bad people and bad things to good and sometimes I questioned myself who am I to decide who is bad or who is good. But one thing is for sure that people get what they want if they work arduously for it, whether they be good or bad.  I have known people who need people just in their bad times. I have seen people talk about love and friendship without realizing that they don't know any of it. I have met people who remember close ones when they need money and after that write them off as 'their' bad debt. I have seen lovers being unfaithful and swindlers in cloak of saints. I have seen leaders robbing the nation and children deceiving their parents. I have seen criminals killing the innocent and the innocent being nailed to death. Tell me one reason one reason why should I not stray? Why should I not learn the life's lesson? ...

It was my childhood friend Anurag's wedding and I thought to give it a miss. As my family was going, so I thought I can just excuse myself and keep on with work. A day before his marriage he called me up and asked, 'Rajat, kaha hai tu?' and I replied that 'I'm so sorry yaar, I could probably not make it though I'm trying' to which he replied, 'aisa mat kar yaar, shadi baar bar nahi hoti, tujhe aana hi padega kaise bhi karke, tu aa bus'. I rushed to grab the tickets for Indore and left for his wedding. Had I missed his wedding I would have missed a lot. It had that silent sharing of happiness, a very genuine feeling of friendship and the joy of being in my friends wedding. He kept me close and held my hand when I went on stage. At phere and shadi he kept looking at me from time to time, as if saying to me 'accha lag raha hai ki tu dekh raha hai ki meri shadi ho rahi hai'. Heartfelt... every single moment. Then I returned to Pune and went to s...

A few days ago, I shared the story of Ravi, a watchman's son and one of the 400 million children in India. He came to school every day wearing the same tattered clothes, yet always remained calm and cheerful. I had the chance to teach him a few times and found that he excelled academically. His only area for improvement was English, as he came from a Hindi-medium school. Ravi was consistently present at school and eager to learn, but then he vanished. He never returned after the Christmas vacation. Kaushik suggested that Ravi might be on an extended break and would return later. I waited, but Ravi never reappeared. One day, Kaushik informed me that he had visited Ravi's home and learned that Ravi had left with his family for Uttar Pradesh without notifying anyone. He left just as he was about to complete 2nd grade and advance to the 3rd grade. I had planned to support Ravi's education financially and in other ways, but he was gone. I wanted to confront his parents, to ...

Agar khud par hosla rakhon to main sekdo se bhi lad jaunga, Aur agar na rakhon to khud hi ladkhada kar gir jaunga. life is all about finding that one thing you really care about. That one special thing that means more to you than anything else in the world. ......And when you find it, you fight for it. You risk all You put it in front of everything... your future, your life... all of it. Even if I try and put in my best to explain by what I mean by this I might not do justice to it. It's very introspective, just introspect.

Day before yesterday (18th Feb, 2011) I met with an accident. Though I was not unscathed but I definitely escaped any fatal injury. Seconds after (seconds) I was up on my feet analyzing my torn trouser, bleeding knee, bruised left hand and ready to move again on my scooter. The people, who gathered to help, asked me to sit and take some breathe but to stop and let my pain and blood be seen is the last thing I wanted after the skid. I don’t know why I try to skip the fact that even I can be hurt, be vulnerable at times. I just hold back these emotions and smile and say, ‘I’m as good as I can be’. Where did this ‘As good as I can be’ come from. Why am I growing too conscious and too fearful of everyone around, even the best friends of mine? I hope there is no pride in me, just some emotional issues that I needed to resolve within myself. It’s harder than anything I have ever had to do before. I knew the fact that the world isn’t all sunshine and rainbows but somehow was protected for lo...

I know the winners and I have seen them, I know what winners are like Winners are not like you and me. They do not mourn, they do not rejoice They do not cry, they do not smile. They don't have time for all this Until they cover the extra mile. They don't do all this Until they reach the destination they sight. I have seen winners and they are not like you and me. Winners are not born, they do evolve Time challenges them and they fight with a resolve. They can't be stopped, they can't be destroyed. You can put hurdles, you can try to resist Winners are winners and they know how to exist. I have seen Winners and they are not like not you and me.

Before I started writing this today, I re-read my previous posts. The year that was, not a great one though rather rough, but it had a beautiful beginning and a beautiful end. It had all the flavors love, laughter, pain... surety, uncertainty... decisions- right and wrong... hearts- pure and shallow... people- good and bad, but I survived them all with my spirit of being me :)  I'll live like this till the last. I won't mourn over yesterday cause I have a lot to celebrate than to waste time over the blows that were struck. I just won't turn back to people who turned their back on me, for I know it is easy to hurt but difficult to heal. I will live my life to the best and work hard till my muscles ache and keep going on until the life comes to an end. I will welcome my day with love in my heart, make new friends, cherish the older ones, capture tears from their eyes, spread smiles all around. They might not hear me, they might not trust me, they might reject me but I'...