I Kept Faith

Day before yesterday (18th Feb, 2011) I met with an accident. Though I was not unscathed but I definitely escaped any fatal injury. Seconds after (seconds) I was up on my feet analyzing my torn trouser, bleeding knee, bruised left hand and ready to move again on my scooter. The people, who gathered to help, asked me to sit and take some breathe but to stop and let my pain and blood be seen is the last thing I wanted after the skid. I don’t know why I try to skip the fact that even I can be hurt, be vulnerable at times. I just hold back these emotions and smile and say, ‘I’m as good as I can be’.

Where did this ‘As good as I can be’ come from. Why am I growing too conscious and too fearful of everyone around, even the best friends of mine? I hope there is no pride in me, just some emotional issues that I needed to resolve within myself. It’s harder than anything I have ever had to do before. I knew the fact that the world isn’t all sunshine and rainbows but somehow was protected for long from every dark night. This world is a mean and nasty place, and things hit you so hard sometimes that you dare not get up again. I was hit hard and I didn’t want to be hurt again so I remained on my knees… still moving but on my knees. I could have taken a lot more and kept moving. That day, the same day when my accident happened, I got this message from my friend, ‘Hey r……whr r u? Y hv u disappeared???? :( ’. I never disappeared but I was apprehensive. I really wanted to hear from you. I was feeling low, quite low. I expect many things from myself and my friends, and when I don’t get them I grow impatient. I try to communicate something and when anyone understands me I feel some optimism, calmness… in simpler terms I feel good. Thanks God for guarding my faith in people, in love and in life.

I had to make a note of it and remember this day. There will be many times in my life when I will be hit hard and feel that I have problems that I can never solve, there will be times when I’ll feel that life is unfair and too painful to live. But I’ll have to keep going as I know every problem is not going to last forever. Now I am back on my feet… moving and what I did that evening was to call up a friend, an almost forgone friend and told him how much I missed him. I invited him for dinner on Sunday and we felt nice, happy… yes we, I could feel the vibes :)