The Wish & The Battle Inside

gam ki khoobsurti ko kya samjhega ye zamana, muskaan ka dard kaha hai isne pehchana..

"Welcome to the world of the girl child, where promise meets despair and hope is overshadowed by gloom. The woman, who rocks the cradle and shapes the destiny of civilization, is tragically one of humanity's gravest concerns today. With numerous summits, conferences, and events being held to address the issue, even the world's top leaders are involved in the cause. Indian traditions and rituals define the existence of the girl child. Despite clamors for gender equality and law enforcement, female infants are still found abandoned in trash, while unborn fetuses are relentlessly eliminated in the womb. Our society, steeped in discrimination and bound by rituals, has dealt a cruel hand to the girl child, from the moment of conception until the darkness of life." I won't reiterate what we read in newspapers, nor will I provide reasons for why we should save the girl child. The problem is that people hear but don't listen, read but don't understand. I pose thes...

लोग कहते की डर के आगे जीत होती है लेकिन कितने आगे है ये कोई नहीं बताता लोग कहते है की अन्याय का अंत होता है लेकिन कब होता है कोई नहीं बताता लोग कहते है की अच्छाई की जीत होती है लेकिन कब होती है कोई नहीं बताता कभी सुबह कभी शाम होती है, कभी दिन कभी रात होती है, हवाएं रुख बदल लेती है, मौसम भी जल्द बदल जाते है, लेकिन जो बात लोग कहते है वो नहीं होती... लोग कहते की डर के आगे जीत होती है लोग कहते है की अन्याय का अंत होता है लोग कहते है की अच्छाई की जीत होती है

बाहर जगमगाहट, भीतर घना तम, त्यौहार की धूम में, मन को चुभ रहा एक गम I फटाको की गूँज तो कही तबाही का मातम, त्यौहार की धूम में, मन को चुभ रहा एक गम I घर से निकला मैं लेने त्यौहार का साजो सामान, देखा सड़क पर बैठी  थी  एक नन्ही सी जान, बेच रही थी वो फूलों की माला और रंगोली के रंग, एहसास हुआ मुझे कितना तंग था उसका जीवन, त्यौहार की धूम में, मन को चुभ रहा एक गम, बाहर जगमगाहट, भीतर घना तम I

As I was reading some old paper cuttings I got a few quotable quotes from them and I couldn't resist sharing them. I added one of my writeup too ;) The picture below also from a newspaper... observe it carefully, it's hope.. If you do not hope, you'll not find what is beyond your hopes. The best way out is always through.   That you really believe in always happens. And the belief in a thing makes it happen. ~Frank Lloyd Wright The fearless are merely fearless. People who act in spite of their fear are truly brave. ~James Lewis There is nothing like a dream to create a future. ~Victor Hugo To create, sometimes you must rebel. ~Isabelle Duschenay I try to keep it simple, so if complications hit me. They'll die. The self is not something that one finds. It is something that one creates. ~Thomas Szasz Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers, but be fearless in facing them. ~Tagore The price good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by...

I want to tell you, before I go to bed, that I am a little afraid tonight. Whatever I am or my dream is, might hit the rock bottom, I fear losing, I fear failure. It is still quite easy to keep making money by what I am doing now and not only that, it is secure, I am settled here, this is my comfort zone. But.... but still for once I want to reach out, I want to feel the solace in my heart that I did it, I tried and I never gave up. Will I be able to do that? Can I find some decent people in this institution who respects the value of education? I don't know my own capabilities and limitations completely but I will try not to let my spirit break. I will...

The Indian education system has got enslaved in capitalist society. Among the rat race to acquire a white collar job, our education system is producing more cattle folk than farmers. The educational heritage which imbibed 'guru-shishya parampara' has been destroyed. The Indian Education System whose objectives were acquisition of knowledge, inculcation of social duties and character building is now just focused on wealth generation. A teaching authority and fair-mindedness is lacking in our society. The fascination and craving for knowledge is missing among the students. After volunteering for Teach For India, a thought struck me, I felt compelled and motivated to bring about a change in Higher Education, so that students can be educated rather and not just be degree holders. For I firmly believe that an educated soul is an enlightened soul and are the future of our society. With high hopes I decided to reach out to the educationalists. My first few experiences were bitter-a ...

Lesson's for Manmohan Singh: Don't wait to fight corruption. To wait is to waste time and opportunity.  Don't surrender leadership to outside forces(like Sibbal, Chiddu). Better do something imperfectly than nothing flawlessly. Never reject an idea because its not your way of doing things. You won't be able to eradicate corruption, if you won't begin. Don't surrender your soul to KURSI.  Team Anna's Philosophy: If we do good, people will accuse us of selfish ulterior motives. But we'll do good anyway. Honesty and frankness makes us vulnerable. But we'll be honest and frank anyway. What we spent years building may be destroyed overnight. But we'll build anyway.

Don't miss this one -- Why I'd be Anna and not Arundhati All credits to the author. Hats off.

मेरी ख़ामोशी को मेरी कमजोरी न समझ लेना, जिस दिन मेरा खून चला तुम पानी से बह जाओगे.. मैं चुप हूँ क्यूंकि अभी तक मैं जला नहीं हूँ, पर मैं जला तो समुन्दर में भी तुम जल जाओगे.. मत लो मेरे सब्र का इम्तेहान मत लो मेरे सब्र का इम्तेहान अगर सब्र का बांध टूट गया तो जीते जी तुम मर जाओगे..

Manu – Chairman Sona – Chief Executive Officer Rohit – Sona’s son (the to be chairman) Kapil and Diggaj   – Board members Kalu & Raja – The ex-workers of the factory now in jail (they were found to have duped the factory workers and were responsible for factories recent downfall in market) Hajji – The union leader Aru and Kira – Workers in the union, termed by others as Hajji’s hands. There was no solace for the factory workers in Rohit’s statement, “It was just a minor fire in the finance unit, such minor incidents do happen and we cannot do anything about it. We deeply regret for the loss of the life of the workers though. We will have a board meeting to decide the compensation for the victims; we have our sympathy with the workers.” While there was anger among many factory workers, the families who lost their sole bread earners were not able to check their tears and wails. Aru found something suspicious in the statement, ‘… such minor incidents do happen and we cannot ...

Epilogue: It was pouring heavily today when I first saw him, silently sitting in the garden on a rusted green bench. For a moment it seemed that he was lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world and after a while he started to shiver. I walked up to him "hey, you should not be sitting here anymore" and he glanced at me with bleary eyes that was the first time when I noticed his face. He looked despondent and fragile. Tears flooded his eyes and he covered them with his hands. He was visibly struggling...... The speech : "The words expectation and hope are separated with a very fine line. Expectations are driven by mental logic and there are particular areas of our life where we should be filled with expectations. Like I expect that I should be paid each month for the work I do. Managers expect that their employees should work effectively and deliver in time. Whereas hope is something that is a wish, a dream sometimes ...

The Congress party's 2009 election motto read: Aam aadmi ke badte kadam, Har kadam par Bharat buland. Not sarcastic but the truth, the words behind the motto meant: Bhrashtachar ke badte kadam, Har kadam par Bharat khatam.                                                    or Aam aadmi ke bate kadam, har kadam par jurm ki takat buland. What has corruption done to India? I'll jot down what has been in newspapers in the month of June, just one single month: 17 Jun 2011,21:44 Pune police have booked a 29 year old person for allegedly raping a woman on the pretext of marrying her 16 Jun 2011,21:06 A tantrik was arrested for allegedly raping a 17-year-old teen at Larankelo village of Kullu on Thursday evening. The incident came ...

My question- "what next Annaji?" is pointed towards the common man. Quite concisely I knew the fate of Lokpal on April 22, 2011 as I highlighted in Vande Matram , still in some corner of my heart I had some hope not in government but the democracy which is non-existent. And it is not only me who is perturbed, I read what Kiran Bedi tweeted today, at this moment - "Govt bill reinforces practice of two sets of laws in enforcement. With PM, judiciary and MPs for corruption in the house out of lokpal bill. By its new draft govt makes it three inquiry\ investigating overlapping agencies. CBI, CVC and Lokpal. Not one single anti corruption body. It also bifurcates the bureaucracy into higher and lower. And provides non effective relief for a common man. It also leaves the state ayukts out. Which means states will need to struggle for effective anti corruption institution too. The selection panel is a political heavy weight. Ours was a mixed balance. The removal of a cor...

The government which never questioned why so much corruption is now questioning why so much agitation. The dogs of the corrupt system who are barking over the news channels and in the media that, such agitations are not worthy and have suspicious motives, should atleast do a soul search for what have they done for the nation. They all are corruption beneficiaries wagging their tails for the ministers and now someone, a man, is trampling on these dog's tails and they have started barking. All the political parties and their dogs have vested interest in corruption, and they take care of each other. Corrupt practices are not imposed from outside; people choose to practice them to further their interests! For how long did the government think that they would continue their naked display of corruption and the nation will keep itself blindfolded to what is happening, aren't six decades enough. We have had enough of scandals, loots, rapes, abductions and murders by the legislato...

"In pain when my heart cries, mom's embrace is the balm to my pain."   All I am and I ever will be, if you ever want to thank me or praise me for what I do- thank my maa and praise her. Whoever I am, I owe to the two ladies of my life- my maa and my naani maa. Maa taught me that her boy should not give up on anything and Nanimaa taught me not to complain or regret. Maa taught me that life is an endless challenge and Nanimaa taught me that no challenge is good or bad. From Maa I learned to be eager and from Nanimaa to be humble. From Maa I gained my courage from Nanimaa my patience. They taught me to fear only the Almighty and the wrongs I do. They taught me to respect the elders and love the younger ones. As a child, I used to be stubborn but she never fulfilled all my demands. She taught me that sometimes it is important to lose and sometimes it is important to gain. She taught me not to take pride in my possessions and not to feel ashamed for what I don't posses...

I was not one among the many Indians who felt euphoric after the government caved in to Anna Hazare's movement against corruption. I was skeptical of the government's move and they did not disappoint me either, they proved my theory right. My theory- that the government could sense the spark and the heat, so it immediately decided to extinguish it before it catches widespread fire and then remove the originators of this fire out of the system by any and all means possible. The Indian judicial system works in a simple manner, if someone stands for true justice, walk up beside them slowly and stab them in their heart, keep the culprits in a safe custody till then. This is how almost every movement, every agitation in our country dies. What chance does a country have when the good people do nothing? Common men have learned to bury their responsibilities with their silence. They need to learn to confront it and face the truth. They know how to fight for their food, they need to l...

"The dream of India as a strong nation will not be realized without self-reliant, self-sufficient villages, this can be achieved only through social commitment and involvement of the common man." These are the words, the vision of the man who commenced a fast upto death on 5th April 2011- Anna Hazare. Anna Hazare's protest led to the resignation of Mr CORRUPT Pawar from the governments Lokpal Bill committee but is that enough. Pawar is not the only corrupt politician. How can a guilty convict a guilty. The politicians are all robbers of the same gang, we need someone from outside this system to nab these corrupts. If this country has to be cleansed then the job cannot be trusted with by the current set of politicians. This movement has to be led by efficient leaders bring Narayan Murthys, Anna Hazares and cleanse the system. A movement is in the beginning, the people are coming out of their shells and raising voice, let's make this voice-a roar. SHOUT LO...

Dear Team India, You know that cricket is celebrated like festival in India. It runs like blood in the veins of every Indian, be it rich or poor. No Wonder the anxiety and anticipation of India-Australia cricket quarterfinals on 24 th March 2011 overshadowed the death anniversary of Shahid Bhagat Singh that fell on 23 rd March, 2011 (his 80 th death anniversary). No one for once remembered, forget paying tribute, the young man who sacrificed his life at the age of 23 for independent India. The nation was enthralled with the anticipation of witnessing Sachin’s 100th century in international cricket and his 18000 run feast. Let’s not forget how many ‘havans’ and ‘special prayers’ were done for your victory against Australia in the quarterfinals. The martyrs of the past are now the part of history textbook but you the Indian Team are the current heroes of the Nation. We look up to you to give us something, a recognition of “sporty India”; a recognition apart from the “poor victims of...

No matter how worse it gets, You'll be there that's something I know... It's not because I'm too good, it's just because you are a wonderful YOU.

This month I'll finish my tenure with Teach For India as a volunteer. Soon the kids will have their exams and all that they were taught will be tested. My test still won't be over as I was not trying to teach them just maths or english, I was trying to motivate them to learn. The lesson I wanted to imbibe in their hearts was of hard work and honesty. They'll fail the day they feel that they can't do it and I'll fail if as a teacher I let them believe it. My footprints might be lost in the sand of time but one day I want them to rise and mark their footprints, become a good human being and serve their motherland. The rising digits in my salary bring me no solace, it's just a need but an hour spent in teaching these kids becomes my hour of serenity. Probably now will be the time for me to say goodbye to my kids... with a heavy heart I have to move on and find out a way through which I can reach out to other kids and give them the same lesson and move on and on a...

"..hope our paths cross again and the hearts stay true till then". Aren't those lovely words, a beautiful message from a stranger to me. I'll keep it real short. I hate when a close friend and I drift apart. We once used to talk for countless hours. Now we don't even have time for conversations. We have become the part of the rat race, things have changed. We’re going on our own separate ways and heading at different directions. If I’m lucky, maybe our paths will cross again one day, someday. Until then, be true to your heart and your dreams will come true. Until then, I hope you know I miss you. I promise you my friend I'll be me, be it now or then.

He sleeps in his bed tonight and remember those things which he never thought of doing but he did them. He was not born to follow rules and regulations, he was born to follow his dreams. The restlessness inside did not let him reach the silence within him. His words stood between silence and silence; and he listened quietly. It was his heart that showed him the way... all the way. His inside is his outside. He is not always right but he does what he feels is the best. With bleeding hands he tries to heal, unknowingly stains the white in red. He owns his words. He is writing to reach you but he might never reach you. You talk without speaking, you hear without listening and he keeps whispering in the sounds of silence. And he keeps whispering in the sounds of silence...

Time and again life taught me various lessons. Some lessons I accepted with grace and some I just could not digest. I saw good things happening to bad people and bad things to good and sometimes I questioned myself who am I to decide who is bad or who is good. But one thing is for sure that people get what they want if they work arduously for it, whether they be good or bad.  I have known people who need people just in their bad times. I have seen people talk about love and friendship without realizing that they don't know any of it. I have met people who remember close ones when they need money and after that write them off as 'their' bad debt. I have seen lovers being unfaithful and swindlers in cloak of saints. I have seen leaders robbing the nation and children deceiving their parents. I have seen criminals killing the innocent and the innocent being nailed to death. Tell me one reason one reason why should I not stray? Why should I not learn the life's lesson? ...

It was my childhood friend Anurag's wedding and I thought to give it a miss. As my family was going, so I thought I can just excuse myself and keep on with work. A day before his marriage he called me up and asked, 'Rajat, kaha hai tu?' and I replied that 'I'm so sorry yaar, I could probably not make it though I'm trying' to which he replied, 'aisa mat kar yaar, shadi baar bar nahi hoti, tujhe aana hi padega kaise bhi karke, tu aa bus'. I rushed to grab the tickets for Indore and left for his wedding. Had I missed his wedding I would have missed a lot. It had that silent sharing of happiness, a very genuine feeling of friendship and the joy of being in my friends wedding. He kept me close and held my hand when I went on stage. At phere and shadi he kept looking at me from time to time, as if saying to me 'accha lag raha hai ki tu dekh raha hai ki meri shadi ho rahi hai'. Heartfelt... every single moment. Then I returned to Pune and went to s...

A few days ago, I shared the story of Ravi, a watchman's son and one of the 400 million children in India. He came to school every day wearing the same tattered clothes, yet always remained calm and cheerful. I had the chance to teach him a few times and found that he excelled academically. His only area for improvement was English, as he came from a Hindi-medium school. Ravi was consistently present at school and eager to learn, but then he vanished. He never returned after the Christmas vacation. Kaushik suggested that Ravi might be on an extended break and would return later. I waited, but Ravi never reappeared. One day, Kaushik informed me that he had visited Ravi's home and learned that Ravi had left with his family for Uttar Pradesh without notifying anyone. He left just as he was about to complete 2nd grade and advance to the 3rd grade. I had planned to support Ravi's education financially and in other ways, but he was gone. I wanted to confront his parents, to ...

Agar khud par hosla rakhon to main sekdo se bhi lad jaunga, Aur agar na rakhon to khud hi ladkhada kar gir jaunga. life is all about finding that one thing you really care about. That one special thing that means more to you than anything else in the world. ......And when you find it, you fight for it. You risk all You put it in front of everything... your future, your life... all of it. Even if I try and put in my best to explain by what I mean by this I might not do justice to it. It's very introspective, just introspect.

Day before yesterday (18th Feb, 2011) I met with an accident. Though I was not unscathed but I definitely escaped any fatal injury. Seconds after (seconds) I was up on my feet analyzing my torn trouser, bleeding knee, bruised left hand and ready to move again on my scooter. The people, who gathered to help, asked me to sit and take some breathe but to stop and let my pain and blood be seen is the last thing I wanted after the skid. I don’t know why I try to skip the fact that even I can be hurt, be vulnerable at times. I just hold back these emotions and smile and say, ‘I’m as good as I can be’. Where did this ‘As good as I can be’ come from. Why am I growing too conscious and too fearful of everyone around, even the best friends of mine? I hope there is no pride in me, just some emotional issues that I needed to resolve within myself. It’s harder than anything I have ever had to do before. I knew the fact that the world isn’t all sunshine and rainbows but somehow was protected for lo...

I know the winners and I have seen them, I know what winners are like Winners are not like you and me. They do not mourn, they do not rejoice They do not cry, they do not smile. They don't have time for all this Until they cover the extra mile. They don't do all this Until they reach the destination they sight. I have seen winners and they are not like you and me. Winners are not born, they do evolve Time challenges them and they fight with a resolve. They can't be stopped, they can't be destroyed. You can put hurdles, you can try to resist Winners are winners and they know how to exist. I have seen Winners and they are not like not you and me.

Before I started writing this today, I re-read my previous posts. The year that was, not a great one though rather rough, but it had a beautiful beginning and a beautiful end. It had all the flavors love, laughter, pain... surety, uncertainty... decisions- right and wrong... hearts- pure and shallow... people- good and bad, but I survived them all with my spirit of being me :)  I'll live like this till the last. I won't mourn over yesterday cause I have a lot to celebrate than to waste time over the blows that were struck. I just won't turn back to people who turned their back on me, for I know it is easy to hurt but difficult to heal. I will live my life to the best and work hard till my muscles ache and keep going on until the life comes to an end. I will welcome my day with love in my heart, make new friends, cherish the older ones, capture tears from their eyes, spread smiles all around. They might not hear me, they might not trust me, they might reject me but I'...